I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
