cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
