I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
