Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
