Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I deserve this hangover.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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