i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
