I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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