My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
