9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
