when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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