i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
