you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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