Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
