Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
