You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
