I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
