just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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