please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
