TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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