shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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