Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize