my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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