Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
