Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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