your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
