Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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