Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
