My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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