wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
