They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
