so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
