You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
