He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
