Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
