were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Shame - the story of my life.
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