So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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