Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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