I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
