Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
