Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
