She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize