I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize