Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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