Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
