and she was petting her beer can
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
