So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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