I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
