My friends, they love my intelligence
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
