your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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