Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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