Got a toothbrush?
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
