Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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