Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
