I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
