: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
