I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
