The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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