Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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