Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
